I began writing my thoughts and inspirations down on paper when I was in the 7th grade. I was 13 years old going through a very confusing and tumultuous time in my life. I lived with my father and was lonely to some extent. I had friends at school but did not see them much outside. On occasion, I would spend the night with one here and there and I played softball for a couple of years in a row.
It was in my freshman year that I started to ‘get a life’ so to speak in school. I had made the Rythemette Squad (a dance team for the school) It was amazing and I loved it. I spent the whole summer practicing routines and getting ready for the school year to start. I had my uniform and was ready. Then three weeks into our school year my father and step-mother decided to move to the country. That was the end of life as I knew it and was forever changed in many ways.
I turned to my spiral notebooks, writing poems and some stories but more poems than anything. It was an outlet and it provided a way for me to connect to others. I still have those spiral notebooks with the rhyming words I carefully put together. I read them now and laugh sometimes at the silliness of the thoughts. But sometimes I read between the lines and see a young, lonely girl wanting to be loved and cherished. While I knew my parents loved me I really wasn’t sure what love looked like. It was more a notion than shown outwardly in tangible ways. I did not seem to get enough attention, time or affirmation for a young teenage girl.
I do not remember writing much in my young adult years however I did read a lot. I loved reading so I kept up with that as much as possible. While in the Air Force I took some college courses in writing. I loved it. I think I still have some of those writings somewhere. I also took a speech course and liked that just as much. It seems the older I get the more in love with words I become. My dream has always been to write a book and have it published. I do not know what the subject will be nor do I know at this point in my life what would be important enough to warrant having my words thrown out into the world. I do know there is a story inside of me, I am just unsure how or when it will come out. Maybe a recounting that might encourage another through a similar circumstance I have experienced or a story to inspire and give hope. I would prefer it be something inspirational and would indeed glorify God, however, I do not want to just spout words without God’s permission because I know the power of those words. He says in His Word that the power of life and death are in the spoken word. So we must be accountable for every idle word we speak.
Some years ago, specifically March of 2006, I started a blog on MSN Live Spaces. I was a single parent and going through some very lonely times. Facing so many difficult events in my personal life, I turned to God and He taught me so many wonderful lessons through it all. He began doing a work in my heart taking me through fiery trials toward healing. Giving me nuggets to snack on as I walked with Him. He opened the door for me to write the words down and share with others. Through this time in my life, I found an outlet for my loneliness and was able to share what God was doing.
I believe God used it to heal my heart. It gave me some accountability as to what I saw God doing in my life. How His Word and truth was being applied to my circumstances. I met folks who were attempting to do the same. I was enriched by their lives and experiences. It was for me a creative way for me to stay in touch with the world when the temptation is to isolate one’s self from it all.
Today I look back and still remember the excitement of writing and posting my first post. Interacting with others and listening to their ideas and thoughts on my words. It was truly a blessing to me then. Now I want to keep sharing what God shows me in my daily life. I want to be a blessing to others. My deepest desire is to write my story out and put it in a book to pass down to my kids and grandkids. I love them all so much and want to give them a piece of my heart!!
In researching my own family tree I often think how wonderful it would have been to have something to speak to me from the past. Facts and documents speak but it does not always show you their heart and what they were like or thinking about. I want to be able to do that! So I write.
I appreciate you for stopping by and taking the time to share this moment in time with me! May God bless you and much grace be to you!
Grace to you,