35 Make me to go in the path of thy commandments; for therein do I delight.
The words will not come. But they are there. Stuck inside my heart. My mind can not see them or form them. But they are there. My heart is heavy with them. Circumstances compel me to try. Memories urge me to free them from their confined space in the deep recesses. The Spirit groans from within my soul to intercede on my behalf. The knowledge that God is with me, ever-present but somewhat silent keeps me sensitive to His movement at any moment. I am at the edge of my seat. Waiting.
36 Incline my heart unto thy testimonies, and not to covetousness.
Waiting on God. Perhaps He is waiting on me. Now wouldn’t that be something, each of us waiting on the other to move. Somehow I am certain that God will not wait long. He has a plan and nothing hinders Him from executing it with perfect timing and precision. I see some things ahead in my life that must happen. The opening of wounds, cleansing of infections. Minister and a healing.
37 Turn away mine eyes from beholding vanity; and quicken thou me in thy way.
Healing of fear. The kind of fear that becomes an obstacle. Fear, as an obstacle, becomes an emotion that binds up. It keeps you boxed in. It keeps you from standing up for what is right. It keeps you from stepping out in faith. It keeps you from speaking truth in love. It keeps you from enjoying life. Ultimately it may keep you from allowing God’s treatment causing greater sickness or pain. It keeps you hostage.
38 Stablish thy word unto thy servant, who is devoted to thy fear.
Hostage to anxiety. Anxiety is the opposite of peace. True peace is only given by God. He says, “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee..” Focusing on Jesus, God’s Son, who came to ‘give us peace’ keeps your mind from wandering to painful memories of the past, from dwelling on current heartaches and trials, from taking in all the world chaos or carrying the burden of responsibility for everyone’s failures. Trusting Him gives you hope that all will be well in His hands. In His hands there is life.
39 Turn away my reproach which I fear: for thy judgments are good.
Life more abundantly. The sky is more blue. The music is sweeter. Your loved ones more dear. The time you spend with family and friends becomes more precious. Keeping your eyes on Him, keeps you moving forward. It keeps you faithful. It keeps you wanting more of Him. You do not settle for comfortable, you desire to see His glory. Seeing His glory means walking through fire. Fire comes it brings heat. Heat brings pain but sometimes it brings comfort when the cold winds blow. Cold winds of death.
40 Behold, I have longed after thy precepts: quicken me in thy righteousness.
Death to self. Dying to self is perhaps the one thing that we humans can not do consistently. We try and we fail. We fall. We get up and try to die again. He knows of our frailty but always looks down in love upon us, being patient with us. He is jealous for us. We wants our love and devotion. He wants us to fear Him. Fear the Lord. The kind of fear that shows a reverence or great respect of Him. This fear says you know of God’s mighty power. You know His limitlessness and you do not challenge Him, you trust Him. You know of his wrath you do not blaspheme Him, you praise Him. You know of His judgement but you seek and accept His willingness to forgive, you confess. You repent. You turn from your sin, your flesh. And He saves you. Again, He gives grace.
41 Let thy mercies come also unto me, O Lord, even thy salvation, according to thy word.
Grace falls on you like a spring rain falling on freshly opened flowers. You accept it and walk in it. Looking up and giving thanks. Your heart is overwhelmed by His mercy. You sing praise with a louder voice. You raise your open hands to Him giving Him all that was in your heart. Your broken life, your pieces of burdens, your ignorant decisions, your rash actions, your hurtful words spewed out at others, your molested innocence, your regretful waste of time, your lustful desires, your shattered dreams. They are burnt up by His consuming fire. His consuming love. He takes the offering of ashes and replaces them with beauty.
The words came.
Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine! O what a foretaste of glory divine! Heir of salvation, purchase of God, born of his Spirit, washed in his blood. Refrain: This is my story, this is my song, praising my Savior all the day long; this is my story, this is my song, praising my Savior all the day long. Perfect submission, perfect delight, visions of rapture now burst on my sight angels descending bring from above echoes of mercy, whispers of love. (Refrain) Perfect submission, all is at rest; I in my Savior am happy and blest, watching and waiting, looking above, filled with his goodness, lost in his love. (Refrain)