The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with loving-kindness have I drawn thee. Jeremiah 31:3
I was in the Air Force when I received the Lord as my Savior…actually God had tried to draw me to Him twice before that. Once when I was 14 and another time right before going to Lackland Air Force Base. Thought I had made a profession of faith but then realized much later that I had not trusted God with all my “sins”…I was too afraid to admit how bad I really was.
I was 23 yrs old when I went to basic training so being much older than most of the girls in my flight, I could appreciate the experience. I tried to walk as a Christian and believed I was doing “good” but it lasted until my first assignment in Germany. The draw of of the ‘world’ overcame what I knew in my heart…not being discipled also played a part.
God had tried to keep me on the path…my first room-mate in the barracks was a born-again believer and she invited me to church all the time and I kept putting it off…ended up going only once. I met and married a guy I fell head over heals in love with….I thought it would be forever….3 yrs later, when we were stationed at Luke AFB, AZ he left me for another woman. I was 7 mos pregnant with our second child and he just said “I don’t love you anymore” and left. That was 1990, in 1991 my divorce was final and I left to retrain at Shepherd AFB, Texas for school. It was there I told God that when I got to my next assignment I would do 3 things: Quit smoking cigarettes, potty train my 2-year-old son and go back to church.
I actually did the first two without much trouble and He made it easy for me to go back to church…cuz my new neighbor invited me to her church…they had a Single Again ministry….I went and threw myself into serving and learning the Word of God. I read it, memorized it and even could teach it but the only trouble was, I did not have the joy and peace everyone else had….I was spinning my wheels. I tried to apply the Word but it didn’t seem to “work”. I started praying and asking God to show me what was wrong. Little did I know that the only prayer He hears from an unsaved person was the need for salvation, so I guess He heard me cuz He definitely showed me….
Almost exactly one year after going back to church I was in a revival meeting and the preacher was preaching “You have to know that you know” He was preaching out of the book of Romans….I had gone home that evening wondering if I knew and then I questioned the fact the if I knew why would I be wondering? I called my best friend back in AZ to talk to her (she had a 7 yr old son who had Muscular Dystrophy and he was dying…he had gotten sick that week and was getting weaker and weaker) Anyway while crying she told me how they were spending their time with him…she said he was lying on the floor by the TV and was talking to him…and he said to her “Mommy, I am going to meet Jesus soon in Heaven” She said he knew he was going to go soon.
My heart was so broken for her and for the loss she was going to face. They were a big part of my life. Her husband had been my supervisor for 3 years and she helped me deliver my daughter when my husband walked out…we had been through so much together and now her son was dying. I was telling her “that Karl would be whole when he got to heaven, that he would be able to walk.”
Later when I hung up, a thought came to me…”How did Karl know where he was going?” They were not church goers and we had never really talked of the Lord Jesus or God for that matter. I had long stopped going to church when I knew them so we never really discussed it. That thought plagued me until the next evening at church…and the preacher started preaching and when he said “You got to know that you know” again, a light bulb went on…a 7 year old boy who was dying knew where he was going and who would meet him there…he had not studied the bible nor did he go to church regularly but yet he knew. And I knew in that moment that I did not. I did not know where I would go when I died.
A force I can not describe pushed me out into the aisle and before I knew it I was going forward and confessing I was a “sinner” and I needed to be saved…that I needed Christ to be Lord of my life….And at that very moment all the scripture I had learned over the past year had clicked…but even more amazing was the joy and peace that settled over my heart and mind. I could rest! That was in Sept 1992 in Jacksonville, Arkansas.
And 25 years later I am still walking with the Lord. He has taken me on many journeys these many years. A few of them have been in the valley, some on a mountain top but all of them bringing me closer to Him. All of them building my faith and making me into His image. I look back at the day I met my Savior and could not imagine where He would take me but I knew that without Him I would not survive the darkness of the world around me. I have not regretted that decision for one second of my life and more than ever am so grateful for a God who loved me so much that He would want me to be His daughter! There is nothing like being a daughter of a King!!!
grace to you
P.S. I posted this as a blog March 2006 so if you read it before….now you know why! Thank you for stopping by.