You Do Not Stop Being A Mother When Your Children Are Grown!

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20 Our soul waits for the Lord;
He is our help and our shield.
21 For our heart shall rejoice in Him,
Because we have trusted in His holy name.
22 Let Your mercy, O Lord, be upon us,
Just as we hope in You.

Psalm 33:20-22 (NKJV)

Many times I have written about being a single parent of four children. I have written about the difficulties we faced as a family and the doubts I have had as a mother. My time is growing short as my last child is finishing up his high school years. We have a couple of years left and it is increasingly getting more difficult in some respects and somewhat exciting in others. The difficulty lies in letting go and letting God deal with those things in my children’s lives that I see as potential danger zones.  As a mother I see all the possibilities, good and bad. I see their potential in God and their vulnerability to the enemy.  I want to scream at them, “Watch out, you are too close to the edge!”  But then there are moments where I joyously want to say, “Yes! Way to go!!”

It never ends, being a mother. When they are grown you are still their mother. You are just more of an observer until they invite you in to speak to their circumstances and choices. It is hard to know sometimes what to say and when to say it. I don’t think I have erred with God’s Word by reminding them the bible says or God wants you to ______! (fill in the blank)  I think they hear me as long it is said with love and concern and not said with anger or bitterness to turn them away or a ‘I told you so’ attitude.  My inner heart says, “check your attitude at the door and love them.” Boy oh boy, I fail miserably.

I have to admit, on occasion, fear still wells up inside me where my children are concerned. I remember so many prayers prayed in tears over them at night for years. So many times begging God to protect their hearts spiritually, asking Him to fill in the gaps left open by actions or words. When fear welled up this morning I had to immediately go to God. I had to fight the thought with His truth otherwise it would have brought me down. They each are responsible for their relationship with God and the world. And when I see danger or neglect creeping into their life it grips my heart. This quote caught my eye this morning and I believe it is the Lord speaking through another confirming my urgency to keep my grown children in prayer.

“No matter how good a parent you have been, your adult children can still be impacted by the dark side of today’s culture. We must keep in mind that the magnetic draw of the evil forces of this world is strong and presents a constant battle for our children. We have to continually pray that they’ll be strong enough to resist this unrelenting encroachment of the enemy into their lives.” Stormie Ormartian

The verse above speaks to the trust and hope that I have kept within my heart as I was thinking back to the days when my life was about raising children and caring for my household as a stay-at-home mom and through the single parenting years. I can attest that I have seen Him answer so many of my requests in their lives. Through many trying circumstances He gave me strength to keep hoping when I thought I could not go another day. He provided for us when it looked like we had nothing left. I learned to trust Him to do what He said He would do.  I believe He is still working to bring it all together for good in His time. I may not see exactly what He is doing in their lives but I usually did not see what He was doing in my life until He did it! And it was always amazing!

The new season I am in today is that of a grandmother.  Four little ones to love on and cherish.  To pray for and beg God for His protection over them. God reminds me daily, that while our stations may change our obligations certainly do not. Trusting and hoping in God means communicating with Him our hopes and cares. Prayer is the means by which we do that.

Do you know the only weapon we can own and have complete control over in our lives is prayer. It can do much damage to the camp of the enemy if we wield it with confidence and in agreement to His will.  The only cost is our time and the return is immeasurable. We do not know when, where or who God will raise up to change the world for Him.  It could be one of my children, one of my descendants or one of yours.  When they look back at their family tree wouldn’t it be awesome for them to find a grandparent who prayed for them by name!  A grandparent who stood in the gap or interceded on their behalf to the throne of grace for them. Oh I want to be that grandmother!

My soul waits, He is my help and my shield. I rejoice in Him. Because I trust Him.  “Lord, God let your mercy be upon me and mine as we HOPE in YOU!

Ft Benning, GA - Dec 2013

Ft Benning, GA – Dec 2013

…That Both You and Your Descendants May Live!

I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; ~ Deuteronomy 30:19

I have a new grand-daughter! Her name is Melody Adeline! She is beautiful, head to toe!  I do not just say that because she is my grand-daughter but she is a wonderful creation. Black hair and dark eyes.  Her name means music, song and it rolls off your tongue like a song. Her middle name, Adeline, means noble. In German it means of nobility and pleasant. How sweet!  She is our ‘noble song’.  She is the smallest of all babies born into our family, 6 lbs. 9 oz. Look at her sleeping like she is praying!  I love this picture!

Melody Adeline

Melody Adeline

Holding her yesterday she was so content, curled up in a little lump laying on Grammy’s chest.  I could have held her all night long. Her big sister Daniela Jade, our little “jewel,” came and went visiting with me.  It wasn’t but three and half years before I was holding her the same way. She is a big girl now with her funny way of talking to all of us. She is precocious at times but she is an innocent little girl with eyes wide to the world around her. She mimics the adults around her and wants to be seen.  There are moments I see her vulnerability to the harshness of the world. As we all are vulnerable. But she has a sweet heart. I pray God protects that! I pray for both of them the way a Grandmother’s heart does. First to see God in all things and know Him in their lives.  Melody is my 4th grandchild and just like the ones before her I have sung Psalm 103 over her so she could hear the words and they would cover her heart and soul.

 

Psalm 103:1-5
Bless the Lord, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget not all His benefits:
Who forgives all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases,
Who redeems your life from destruction,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies,
Who satisfies your mouth with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

I heard a message on this passage the other day.  And I loved how the preacher listed the benefits when we honor God.  I had read them, sang them and prayed them but I am not sure I really stopped to list them on paper as they applied to my life.

1) He forgives my sins (when I ask & repent)

2) He heals my diseases (mental as well as physical)

3) He redeems my life from destruction (many times over)

4) He crowns my life with love, kindness and tender mercies (His daily grace)

5) He satisfies me when I am hungry for something to fill my soul which in turn renews my strength & ability to serve Him (if and when I go to Him only for satisfaction)

All these benefits are mine daily if I do something first. Bless Him with my life. Honor Him. Walk in His ways. Give Him praise & worship.

And sometimes I am overwhelmed by these truths and the simple fact that God loves each and everyone of His creations in this way. So this is the prayer for each one of my grandchildren.  Brodie, Ann Marie, Daniela and Melody, that they would bless the Lord with their lives and would partake in the benefits He gives, so that they may LIVE well!

 

Finding A Piece of Destiny

Suddenly a memory pops into your head.  It isn’t a smell or an image provoking it, it is just a thought.  A thought popping up much like those annoying ads on websites you go to.  The site loads and up pops this little box trying to force you to sign up for something. This has been happening to me a lot lately.  My sister’s face comes up in dreams and in thoughts.  Yesterday it was my sister and my dad.  Last week it was my grandmother on my mother’s side.  They are bringing with them remembrances that are sweet and make me smile. With it comes a huge ache in my chest.  I miss them all.

Popes AnniversaryI think it is because in researching my ancestry I have made some very interesting and exciting discoveries that I would love to share with them and I can’t.  It seems those around me are not as excited about the pieces of treasure I have uncovered.  I want to call my sister and tell her what I found.  I want to call my dad and share with him the stories that I have read.  I would love to sit down with my grandmother and share with her the history of her family.  I wonder if she knew that her family founded the very town she raised her children in. Both my mother and my aunt had no idea so I believe she did not. What a shame to not know how your family staked a claim that future generations would call home.

I learned that three men, a father and two sons, set out from Tennessee to go West.  The father, William Murphy, was from Richmond, Virginia and was a Baptist minister. He and his family had settled in Tennessee after the Revolutionary War for a short time. The three men decided go a little to the south-west into what was known as the Louisiana Territory.  They were adventurous to be heading into the unknown. Reports say this was in the year 1798, which means the territory was under Spanish control, having been previously owned by France some 35 years before. The men arrived in what was known as Ste. Genevieve (Upper Louisiana) or later to be known as the south-eastern part of Missouri.

While everyone in the area was french and said to be very hospitable, no one spoke English. They had to send out for a man who could interpret for them. The man took them to his home and spent the rest of the night telling them about the area and where the good land was.  The next day with the assistance of an indian guide each of the men found land to claim. They filed their claims and the land was granted by Spain. They headed back to Tennessee to retrieve their families, however the father did not make it home. They had stopped at his son’s house in Kentucky and it is told he died there.  The brothers did however make it back to Tennessee and soon started back to their claims along with another brother who would work their father’s claim.  Later their mother, a woman named Sarah Barton Murphy, followed with the remaining family.

Sarah was a woman of faith.  And fearless it seems.  She took her remaining household on a trip in a keel boat that began on the Holston River, to the mouth of theOmaha keelboat Ohio River and eventually up the Mississippi River using ropes and poles.  She and her traveling companions managed to pass in the night the areas inhabited by hostile indians. They stayed close to the bank during the day for some concealment.  At the end of the trip on the river they walked another 28 miles over land to the final destination. It is calculated they traveled over 1000 miles and when they arrived, those greeting the party gave them a standing ovation.  They arrived June 12, 1802.*

Even though France took back the Louisiana Territory in 1800, it was done in secret, so it was still under the Spanish law until 1803. During the time of Spanish rule, it was against the law to worship God as a Protestant. So those who had lived there spent many years without corporate worship or fellowship. That did not seem to stop Sarah. Being a Christians lady, she would not have the men doing such things as fishing on the Lord’s day so she began a bible study.  The first one west of the Mississippi.  There is a monument to her today in the town of Farmington, Missouri to attest to the fact.

“On this spot the first Sunday School west of the Mississippi River was organized and taught by Sarah Barton Murphy in the year 1805 in the Old Log Meeting House, which was the first Protestant Church west of the Mississippi.” 

sarah barton murphyI have spent some time reading and re-reading the accounts of this family.  The family who worked the land and created what was known as the Murphy Settlement. And then later called Farmington, Missouri.  There are many more stories I want to explore and search out. But just gaining this knowledge has inspired me.  It has given me encouragement that each one of us has an opportunity to stake a claim for our family. We may not head out into unknown lands or have to travel under dangerous conditions to get there.  Maybe it is staking a claim for the Lord.  A claim to His promises to bless those who serve and honor Him.

I made such a claim years ago when I came to know the Lord Jesus as my Savior. I wanted to raise my children in the ‘nurture and admonition’ of the Lord. My desire was to make a change in the way my family had lived.  It now seems my family had grown away from the Lord in the generations since the Murphy’s. While it is exciting to learn of the Christian heritage I have, I did not learn of it until about 7 or 8 years ago.   I had already made the claim years before when my life was falling apart around me and I turned to God for help.  The heartache and destruction of alcoholism and drug addiction had been passed down in my family but can not be sure of who it started with or when. I take comfort in knowing that there may have been one, two or more Christian men and women praying for their descendents.  And those prayers found me when the bottom fell out of my life.

Finding Jesus and learning more about Him literally saved my life. It impacted my life in such a way that it changed the lives of those around me.  My children know God, my father came to know God, my 1st husband came to know God and now my grandchildren are learning of God.  Like finding an ancestor that made a difference in their time, changing the course of the lives around them by pointing them to Jesus. What a treasure to have knowledge of this. I know our focus should not always be on the past.  I know God is wanting us to keep our eyes focused on Him in any and all endeavors.  So I praise Him for showing me these new things. How good of Him to reveal the little details of our past weaved together for His glory!

God has been speaking to me about serving in the moment.  Not waiting for an event, or planning a program or praying about it….He wants me fully engaged NOW! Moment by moment being Christ to the world.  Serving Christ in my church daily not just on Sunday.  In my workplace, in my home and even in my commute.  But most importantly serving Him in my relationships.

As I get older I am understanding more the loneliness of age.  When we are young, we set out to connect with others in the world.  Our lives are weaved with relationships that either bring a balance to our lives or ones that knock us off course.  While we alone choose the people we keep in our life there are times when we have no choice whatsoever on who is in and who is out.  We can try to keep some in but if they want to leave we have to let them go.  We can try to leave some but they won’t let us. As we get older the relationships seem to thin out.  People die or move away.  Our kids grow up and have their own lives to attend to. Those connections I have to my childhood are getting fewer and fewer each year.  Maybe that is why Facebook is such a novelty to some of us. It has allowed us to reach back to the years through friends and acquaintances we had during that time. I think in some ways it validates a time stamp.  “See, we were there.”  “I lived there.” “I was connected there.”

I believe the desire to search out the stories of my ancestors is perhaps a tug of my heart to find a connection to destiny.  Or maybe it is the words of my great-grandparents prayers they offered up to God, to Jesus that someday their descendants would see that they were there.  That they lived and they served Him. That we would be connected to the very same God they were connected to. That their worship and service was not in vain. I want to know that too as I offer up prayers of my own.

The thought overwhelms me that the Murphy’s looked at the same moon & stars,  warmed their  faces under the same sun and kneeled to the same Lord of Lord and King of Kings and some day when I am present with the Lord I pray my great-grandchildren will do the same!