He Said He Would Do A New Thing: Still Waiting :)

Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.  Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert. The beast of the field shall honour me, the dragons and the owls: because I give waters in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert, to give drink to my people, my chosen.  Isaiah 43:18-20

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Life can be so ironic.  You start out with a dream and then set out to make it come true or at least hope that it will come true on its own.  Sometimes we are surprised when it does come true especially without any help from us.  Does anything ever happen by accident?  I don’t believe so.  I think that we all have a hand in the direction our lives go by the choices we make.  But I also believe that there is a divine hand that places the choices in our lives and then turns the path toward a divine purpose. 

Did you ever see the movie made in 1992 called “Forever Young”?  It starred Mel Gibson, Jamie Lee Curtis, Isabel Glasser & Elijah Wood.  It was about a 1939 test pilot asks his best friend to use him as a guinea pig for a cryogenics experiment. Daniel McCormick wants to be frozen for a year so that he doesn’t have to watch his love lying in a coma. The next thing Daniel knows is that he’s been awoken in 1992.  After meeting Elijah Wood, a little boy living with his single mom, he begins to search for his friend who put him into the frozen state.  He learns that his friend died in a fire while also learning that the love of his life did not die and is still alive.  As his body is rapidly aging he finds his way to her.  The very end of the movie you see this very old man laying eyes on this very old woman and it is as if they never parted. 

What was the irony?  Was it that two people, who loved each other and wanted to spend their life together, ended up being separated for 53 years only to be reunited at the end of their life.  How long do you think they had together?  Was the few days they had before and after the long time apart worth any time they spent together at all?  Another ironic side to the story is that as he chose to become frozen, she was waking up from her coma.  She lived her life while he lay on ice.  While I know this is only a movie, as a child of God, we can take a lesson from it, that no matter the direction of our lives take we will always end up where God has planned!  Throughout time people have been separated for a myriad of reasons only to find each other many, many years later.  Are they to feel as if their years were wasted?  Or are they feeling blessed that they once again have a chance to be together? 

I liken this to spending years with someone building a home, a family, a life, only to have it fall apart with a word.  You look back at photos and wonder what to do with all the memories.  The pain you feel at the loss does not allow you to remember beyond the moment.  You box them up and put them away.  And spend the next few years putting it all out of your mind.  Then as you pick up the pieces you might one day open the box and pick out a handful of photos.  It is then you have to decide whether you can keep the pictures or get rid of them.  Are the memories worth saving or are they too difficult to keep?

What if God is working through all of it?  What if He is weaving something so beautiful that you could never even imagine the outcome.  He says He brings beauty from ashes.  He says He works all things together for good, to them who love Him, to them who are called according to His purpose.  Why would He bring someone into your life that would choose to hurt you and leave?  Why would He bring someone into your life that would choose to betray you?  What could He possibly do with all of that?  How does He turn it all around for good?  How does He take the memories and lost time to weave a beautiful tapestry?

Why does a child have to live without their parents when they are kidnapped and kept by monster, only to be reunited 18 years later?  Why does a parent have to miss out on their child’s life when the other parent takes the child and walks away from the family?  Why does a woman who gives up a baby for adoption spend the next 20 years looking into the face of every 20 year old she sees?  Why does a man spend his life working to provide for his family only to have his family leave him because he worked all the time? Does it ever balance out? 

Is God testing us or waiting for us to turn to Him?  God allowed Satan to test Job.  Job is one of the most ironic stories in God’s Word.  He loses everything only to get back double that he had before.  But what about the years of pain and loss? Was the blessings He received later in life worth the loss?  Maybe “worth” is the wrong word.  One can not place a price on what one loses.  So how do we say it?  Did the blessings make up for all that was loss?  Is that possible?  Abraham did not lay eyes onto the son God promised him until he was very, very old.  But when he did, can you imagine the love that swelled from his heart, years falling away?  What about Moses?  He ran away from Egypt and ended up living in the desert for 40 years until God told him to deliver the Hebrews, his brethren, from slavery. Do you think those years in the desert crossed his mind when he saw God’s mighty power divide the sea and deliver his people.   Joseph was sold into slavery, became a prison inmate before Pharaoh made second in command.  The power of forgiveness that melted away years of tears and heartache when Joseph hugged his brothers for the first time since they sold him.  Are you seeing a theme here?

I had a thought the other day.  Maybe God is going to do that in my life.  Maybe all the years I have spent in the wilderness, grieving pain and loss, will become filled with laughter and a filled heart. Maybe he has turned the choices I regret into meaningful roads.  Maybe, just maybe, He is going to give birth to something new in my life.  Maybe He is going to deliver me from this lonely life. Maybe He is going appoint unto me oil for gladness.  Maybe he will allow the years of tears and heartache to melt away through the power of forgiveness.  Maybe He will allow me to finally meet the love of my life.  Maybe He will purpose the dreams, long ago frozen in time, to come alive again, and come true.  Maybe.

Maybe I won’t recognize it when it comes because I will be too overwhelmed with joy and gratefulness to ever remember how hard it was waiting on His promises. Like when they finally lay the new born babe into your arms, all the pain of birth disappears as you look into your childs’ face for the very first time. Just maybe.

A few things have changed since my last post with the exception that I am still looking for a home to rent.  Living arrangements have changed temporarily a bit due to some conflicts that were very, very stressful (long story).  I closed my E-harmony account (nothing came of that – looks as if that door is closed), my mother became very ill and gave a scare to the family, I learned of some disheartening news that caused some old thoughts and feelings to come to the surface (hence the blog), God provided some extra finances through a wonderful, generous person in my life for moving and last but not least,  I have found myself somewhat perplexed by the direction my life seems to not be going in (not sure how to explain this one, will get back to this at a later time) And I went really, really blonde, thanks to my daughter…lol

I will continue to love Him….I am praying I won’t have to wait too much longer.  I covet your prayers.

grace to you

shell

Steps He Took To The Tomb

Easter!

All kinds of thoughts went through my head about this upcoming weekend.  But the one thought that stayed with me the most is “how is my walk with my Lord?”  and “What have I done for Him lately?”  Those two questions have been nagging me really.  I am constantly going to Him about all these little things in my life.  Well they are big things to me.  Things that look like problems.  They are nagging me too.  I have to move again in a couple of months.  My lease is up and it is time to find another home.  My boys and I have been in a room mate situation since last Sept.  It gave me a break somewhat financially and it helped my friend during a very difficult time in her life.  God used it to help us both.  It has been a tremendous blessing.  So now I must walk through another door.

I need a lot of prayer about this.  I want to stay in the same area in order to keep the boys in the same schools.  We have moved so much that I can’t afford for them to change schools again.  This is the one thing that I believe I must take care to not let happen.  It will help lessen the impact moving has on a family, especially with two teenage boys.  Their grades have improved consistently over the past several months along with their attitudes.  So if I don’t have to mess with that area of their lives then I would rather not.  I am asking God to help me out on this one especially.  I want to rent a house.  One I can afford and one that has adequate room (at least 3 bedrooms) and one story (this will help on energy saving during the summer) 

I admit I am a little fearful of all this.  Always before I was confident about moving and seem to have everything under control and planned weeks in advance.  Although I struggled with paying all the bills on one income, somehow we made it.  But this seems to be different.  I can’t plan because I do not know what to expect or what will be available during the time I need to move.  I do not know what God will do either.  I know He always provides but I just don’t know if He will provide within the area I need to be for my kids.  Why is this so hard for me to trust Him with this request?  Why can’t I trust that whatever happens is for the best?

Being a single parent is difficult for many reasons and I have listed a few in past blogs but the reason I bring it up now is because I know that I can not provide everything for my boys on one income.  The more expensive the house, the less there is for other things.  Like groceries, gas and miscellaneous.  Since 2004 that is all I have done is struggle with paying just the living expenses.  Yes, He provides but it is a constant thought in my head each and every payday, will there be anything left over? I absolutely hate living like that.  Yet I feel so very fortunate than most. Because at least I have a job. 

This is what has been consuming my thoughts these days.  Moving: Finances & location and my walk with God.  Do you think there is a correlation?  I do.  I know when I am at peace with God, then I am at peace in my life about the direction I am going in or the decisions I make.  When I am questioning Him or my relationship with Him than I am anxious about all that is going on around me.  I feel as if I have to do something for God in order to get my prayers heard.  That is crazy nonsense.  I know better than that and have known that for years.  So why do I even entertain that thought?  Do I want to get what I want or do I want what He wants for me?  Does He want to give me what I want or what I need?  Is what I want a need or a want?  Wrap your mind around that million dollar question.

What does this have to do with Easter?  How does my prayers, my desires and my worry’s fit into worshipping the King of King, our risen Lord?

Imagine for a moment the people in the town where Jesus was tried, convicted and sentenced.  What do you think most of them were doing during that time?  Many things had to be done to run a home.  Many people were probably going about their business while all the mayhem was going on around them.  Do you think there were people who had not heard of Jesus?  What about the people who heard of him but didn’t know much about him.  What about those who had heard him speak the words of truth?  What do you suppose they were thinking about all of it?  What about all those closest to him?  The ones that ran away when He was taken?  What do you imagine they were experiencing?  And then there were those who watched in horror as He was beaten and then made to carry His cross through the town, what was going through their minds? Do you suppose everyone in the town and those watching were thinking about themselves?  Maybe not those that knew Him and loved Him.  But yet maybe they thought for an instant, "what will I do now, without my Lord?"

When we think of the event we tend to forget about the reality of the day?  It was not like 9/11 when it seemed the whole world stopped to gleen every detail from the tv news.  Even now anywhere in the world there is some major event taking place that is devastating a family or a community.  Even then there are folks going about their daily lives with no clue what has occurred.  I imagine though that the moment Jesus died and the earthquake hit everyone knew something had just happened.  Many may not have equated it the Son of God giving up His spirit.  But everyone knew the earth had shifted.  Certainly the story would have spread that the earth shook the moment Jesus died.  Surely everyone, upon hearing the news, would have realized who He was?  I don’t really think so.  I think they probably reasoned that it was a coincidence.  Man has a way of ignoring the truth and finding something that is easier to explain. 

It is the same today.  Nothing has changed really.  Every Easter Christians celebrate His resurrection.  His victory over death.  But there are still those who choose not to think about what it all means.  There are those who give Easter another explanation that ends with colored eggs and chocolate.  There are those who mock the fact that Christians believe in Jesus Christ at all.  Thinking that it is horrible to talk about a man being beaten and bruised for the sake of saving man kind.  How brutal and don’t talk about blood and gore while we dress up in our pretty little dresses and bonnets!  How preposterous!! 

In all my thoughts this week I never once thought about the days leading up to the empty tomb.  I have known the story of Calvary and I do care.  I understand what He did for me and I am so very grateful!  I have studied it and it has convicted me so many years past each time we come to this holiday.  But amid the thoughts swirling within my head I was not particularly thinking about Jesus’ ordeal.  Of course I was thinking of His resurrection, afterall it is Easter. But I was also thinking about myself and my future.  I was momentarily thinking of the lesson I was going to teach on Sunday morning and busy organizing everything in my head.  Paying bills in my head.  Meeting so & so for lunch on Saturday.  Praying for a house and the location of the house.  Oh and today is Good Friday. Oh and Sunday is Easter!  But during this week, never once did I really think about the steps He took to get to the tomb. 

I came face to face with it this evening.  I was reminded of what He did for us!  What He truly did for us!  Being reminded of this gave me the feeling as if I have not done enough to honor God in my life and I can not shake the feeling that He loves me no less today than He did the day He went to the cross for me!  Brothers and Sisters in Christ, for your own sakes remember what He has done and get on your knees in humility and worship Him!  The One and Only, King of Kings and Lord of Lords! Let Him pour out His love on you in grace!

And because of Him we have the Victory!

Shell