Valentines Battle Begins (thoughts that is)

I posted on My Space today….some thoughts swirling in my head.  I had very strange, actually bizarre, colorful dreams last night. I am not quite sure what the images represented.  They say whatever you were thinking about, watching on tv or stress you had on your mind during the week when you fell asleep comes to life in your dreams.  I don’t know what an old boyfriend in my teens, butterflies, wolves and shrimp have to do with anything going on in my life but believe me when I woke up this morning I was in the twilight zone….even the music was playing in my head. 

Then on my way to work the radio kept mentioning Valentines Day…that just brought forward to my mind some thoughts I had stored in the back of my mind some time ago….

Valentines
Day is the day of romance…I am 46 years old and I can truly say it
has never been a romantic day for me…the ones I do remember I
remember for very different reasons….my first divorce was final on
this day in 1991 and my second marriage was devastated on this day in
2004 also ending…


If I had to tell someone what the most
romantic day of my life would be I would tell them of the time I was
home from Germany on 30 days leave and my then boyfriend sent me a
dozen roses from overseas with the sweetest note, I also received a
letter from him.  It surprised me and it made my heart melt.  I
remember thinking at that moment, I would spend the rest of my life
with him.  As romantic as that was, little did I know that I was
wrong….just so you know I am not bitter but regretful that I did not
make better decisions with my life and in my relationships.


I
think some people are never meant to know that kind of earthly love. 
God may want them all to Himself….I am kind of hoping I am wrong.


Now when reading this post in conjunction with my most recent post, Companions and Paths you can understand where the battle lies…in the mind.  These are real and honest thoughts that I bet a million lonely souls are having this day.  Some are bitter, some are hurting, some are smiling, pretending it doesn’t matter,  and then there are some that really do not care. 

When I mention "lonely souls," I am not just considering singles….but all those who have an empty ache inside of them, that desperately want someone "on earth" to show them that they are loved and cared for.  The ironic thing is God created us with that very desperate, empty ache.  It is a hole. I believe it is in the shape of a heart.  It is in the shape of God.  God’s heart.  So He could be the one to fill it!

Hearts on Fire Pictures, Images and Photos
May your heart be filled by Him today!


The
LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with
an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee. Jeremiah 31:3

9 thoughts on “Valentines Battle Begins (thoughts that is)

  1. Wanna says:

    He so longs desperately to fill that empty place inside…But being the utmost and perfect Gentleman that He is, He will not force anyone to receive what only He has to give. And He will accept no substitutions for the Way (Jesus) that He has made for us all to come in and be restored, be filled, be freed by His amazing love.I\’ve been leaning on Jesus for almost 15 years to get me through the days when disappointment lurks – and have even been snared by a few. But He is faithful. He brings me out of disappointment every single time and never has condemned me one time ever for falling prey to disappointment. And He never will! Hallelujah!!! Praise His holy name!!!

  2. Gerry says:

    Hi Shell,Hope you are doing better today. You never know what the future may hold. I had almost given up on being married or having a family. Then one day after I switched Churches, I met my wife in the single\’s prayer meeting, and now I am a 51 year old man with an 8 year old son and a 4 year old daughter. It was worth the wait to do it in God\’s timing.Hope you have a nice week, or what\’s left of it.Gerry 🙂 http://www.gerrya2u.blogspot.com/

  3. J W says:

    It is my view that your path has been set before you my dear friend. What we oft consider failures are just a forerunner for future success. God has filled your heart. He will fill every void you so perceive. Look what a great friend He gave me in you. One day at a time Shell…one day at a time.John

  4. Greg says:

    Hi Michelle,Yikes! Those are some tough memories from Valentines Day.Over the last five years I have learned to run life as much as possible at an even pace no matter what the day. Yes…God does fill that hole of loneliness. Actually, when we know Him personally another to share life with is a fringe benefit.As your friends we come in agreement from what has caused you pain will be fully restored to a brighter future than you could ever imagine.You all be well down there by the gulf coast…Greghttp://blogquest.spaces.live.com

  5. Theresa says:

    I\’ve always thought there were many more romantic or specail days to celebrate in a relationship than Valentines Day. I enjoy your comments on my sight. Sorry I don\’t visit more.

  6. Faithfulmom says:

    Michelle, you deserve a great love. You already have a wonderful love with Christ and in his time, you will find someone too. Faith, Hope and Love always! Bless you!

  7. Curtis says:

    I don\’t have much to say about such things as valentine\’s day. Personally, I have learned not to be too attached emotionally to anyone or anything for any reason except God. It only leads to "unnecessary pain". Even so, I have a lovely wife who is a wonderful and godly companion. We are growing closer every day in TRUE LASTING LOVE as we allow God to work a deeper death in us and deal with our unrealistic expectations.

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