A Whole Can Of Worms!


Do not turn away after useless
idols. They can do you no good, nor can they rescue you, because they are useless.
1 Samuel 12:21

Well it has been some time since I have been able to put words down.  I have been off in my own "little world." Literally…my world has gotten so small lately.  Isolation could describe it to some extent.  And I absolutely hate it. I have been languishing away…facing the empty nest.  My daughter is soon to go off on her own.  My youngest son is going to visit with his nephew, his brother and sister-in-law for several weeks in July.  Honestly, I sort of dread it.

I have had several suggestions as to what I should do with my time while I am alone.  Make a "Bucket List" (taken from the movie "The Bucket List" with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson).  While I get the idea behind that, there is just something creepy about doing everything I want to do before I never have the chance to do them.  Besides I could not think of one thing I would want to do and even if I could think of one thing, who wants to do that alone? 

Now you might be asking, where is all your friends?  Where are the people you hang with and do fun stuff with?  Well let me fill you in on that area of my life.  I hesitate to even bring it up but I have decided that if I can’t share it here where else can I share?  I want to explain this without sounding like a whiner or  woe-is-me. The fact of the matter is that the topography of my life has changed so significantly that I don’t even recognize it.  Four years ago I was a stay at home mother of four.  I spent my days getting kids to school, keeping my house, planning meals and cooking, taking care of my husband.  Gave time to women’s ministry and took time to scrapbook on occasion with friends. My life was focused on everyone else.  In the midst of all that I walked with God on a daily basis.

Over the years everything in that list has gone away.  Everything except walking with God.  Now I am forced to focus on myself and this has been the struggle of these past months.  Since the beginning of 2008.  You might get the sense of that through some of my prior blogs.  I really don’t like all this self focus and reflection.  I find things I do not like and or things that I thought was there but isn’t.  As of late I have been "avoiding."  Avoiding the changes I need to make in my life.  Avoiding the reality of the situation I find myself in.  Even (and I hate to admit this) avoiding God. 

PhotobucketHere is where I want to get brutally honest…..in hopes that I open a can of worms.  Ok, that saying just seems funny to me…I might have to write something on that later… Just within the last 7 days God has revealed some not so nice things in my life…

  • Idols have crept back into my life
  • God is not pleased with my actions
  • I must change or there will be consequences.

If your interested I will define some of these. I am hoping that there are others out there that might relate and perhaps share their struggle or a prayer for me.  I realize that the one thing a Christian should not do is walk alone.  We are not islands.  We need accountability.  We need fellowship.  We need to love and be loved.  We need to have interaction.  God created us that way!  When everything is balanced in our life…there is a great peace and joy.  When any one area of our life is out of balance there is a restlessness.  This restlessness leads our hearts away to find fulfillment.   While it should be with God, in Jesus, that is not always the case. 

Here is where the rubber meets the road.  The idols in my life….television to avoid facing the empty quiet house….food to replace the loneliness… fantasies to wish another reality.  Some of the these idols God has set me free from before and some were not a problem until now.  An idol is anything that is put first in our life before the Lord.  Anything you turn to to seek fulfillment before turning to God.  And because I have the knowledge of what an idol is I have no excuse for keeping them in my life. Especially when God opens my eyes to what they are. 

Photobucket

My actions.  Well just not doing the things I should do or treating others the way I should.  I know what the scripture says about this. Especially in the book of Romans.  If you have spent anytime reading that book and trying to apply it then you should know what is expected of you as a Christian.  I know we are not perfect and will not always do everything we are suppose to but when we willingly reject doing what God commands us to do then we are in sin. Bottom line!  I guess my actions really aren’t so much what I have done but what I haven’t done.  Put God first, seek Him and trust Him for the needs in my life that have not been met. 

Change or reap the consequences.  I am talking about several things here.  The food…oh my goodness, wouldn’t it be great if we could just take a pill and have everything we need for our bodies to function.  I can’t say I hate food cuz that would be a lie but I do resent it at times.  My weight has gone in the opposite direction since January. My New Years resolution was to lose weight and get in shape but my heart has gotten discouraged in that goal.  I have to turn that around because I know that my body is God’s temple and I also know that my health is not what it should be. I am dissin’ my temple….the consequences of this are very, very real.  The fantasies…well they aren’t wildly crazy just thoughts of a different kind of life than the one I have.  Sometimes I think of what it would have been like if I had never been married ever or I think of what it would have been like to have never been divorced the first time or maybe to be a world traveling business woman…these thoughts take up my time when I am commuting to and from work.  Sometimes when I am sitting idle.  Some might ask what is wrong with that?  I believe they are not constructive, they draw my heart away from God, to discontent and what He dreams for my life and it keeps me from thinking on what is true, pure and of good report. 

Photobucket

So here and now…I am recording these words for accountability.  I plan to spend my July breaking down idols, seeking to please God and most definitely make some changes.  I am going to let God take my hand and show me great and mighty things.  I want Him to fill me up so full that there is no room for anything else!!!
I covet your prayers and ask you to hold me to what I have just pledged! 

He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and
saves them.
Psalm 145:19

11 thoughts on “A Whole Can Of Worms!

  1. Aimee says:

    well sound slike you have a lot on you plate…good luck with your misson in July… 
    ♥~♥ :oD the shortest distance between two people is a smile… :oD ♥~♥

  2. Julie says:

    Dear God,
    Please be with my sister, Shell, today.  Lord, I praise You for what You are doing AND what You are about to do in her life.  Lord, she is hearing Your voice and is responding.  She knows the areas of her heart that You want to change and she is reaching out for accountability.  Thank You, Lord, for placing in her a willing heart that is connected to You.
       Give Shell wisdom in creating an action plan.  I pray that You go before her as she reaches out to others.  As she reaches out, I know she will not just find fulfillment in her own life, but her actions will also spur others on as well.
       Lord, You are an awesome God.  You provide everything for us; we just need to join You.
    All praises to You, Lord.  Amen.
     
    Shell, I just listened to a radio program called MoneyLife from Crown Financial Ministries.  They had an episode on being creative (click on this link: http://www.crown.org/Media/MoneyLife.aspx then click on the 6/09/2008 episode).  I think it might just being a half an hour well spent as you ponder what you can do to put your plan into action.  God has given you a vision and is already at work around you.  All you need to do is move at this point. 🙂
    Blessings to you!!
    –Julie

  3. account deleted says:

     
    Wow, you have a long post here that I want to read but I need to run Shawn to baseball practice. i will make sure to read it before I go out tonight! If you need or want to you can always call me ya know! Hugs, Liz
     

  4. account deleted says:

     
    Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!
     
    Quit being so hard on yourself!!!!!!!!!!!
     
    This life is to be lived and enjoyed too. You can have both God and fun in your life.
     
    I mean, I hear ya on what you are struggling with, but you have to fill your time somehow. Nothing wrong with TV or fantasies, but live is better lived than dreamed about or observing. That is a main reason I stepped way back from the computer. I am spending more time with my family and friends here. Doing more and thinking less. I am still struggling bigtime in certain areas but if I don\’t focus on my troubles they don\’t seem so bad. Maybe not the ideal strategy but it\’s helping me to not sink back into the bowels of depression.
     
    Find your passion, Shell… and find someone, even just a good friend to share your life with!
     
    I wish you lived closer and we could hang out together a lot… but always remember I am only a phone call away!
     
    Biggggggg hugsssssssssssss,
    Liz

  5. Zeynep says:

    Hi Shell,
     
    It was a great Saturday reading, thanks. I like your
    point of view and your mature personality. You have
    a peaceful space here and glad I could open it easily
    for today. Love it\’s new look also.
     
    Yes, it would be great if we could just take a pill and
    have everything we need for our bodies to function,
    lol… Sometimes I too think that way.
     
    Have a great weekend, cheers, Zeynep xx
     

  6. Greg says:

     

    Hi C…
    I see you know where to find me…In my study blog.
    Thanks for coming by…
    Bucket List???
    Girl…Your life is just beginning.
    Yep…We all have a few struggles and dilemmas from time to time. The one thing that always solves everything and anything is being in God’s presence. With Him we are never alone. I believe you are going to be amazed at how many opportunities are going to be coming your way. Places to go…Places to share. Get ready…Here you go…
    Have a nice weekend. Take a deep breath of God and exhale out the bad.
    Greg
     

  7. account deleted says:

    Hola Chica!
     
    Just stopping in to say hello and leave a hug!!!!
     
    I really need to reinstall messenger. I miss chatting with you.
     

  8. J W says:

    Missing you Shell.  If you find the time, let me know how you are.  Perhaps it is difficult for you to understand, but you hold a special place in my heart.  Our Holy Father put you there.  Prayers for you always.
     
    John

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