|Today was soooo surreal. My daughter graduated high school. To be standing there at her graduation took me back to the day I stood with my parents, in my cap and gown, taking photos. I, of course, was bawling. I cry at every momentous occasion. I can’t help it. The emotion of it overwhelms me. In this particular event it was extrememly overwhelming on many levels.
I remember the day she was born…she came so easily, not so quickly, but easily. I remember the few hours after she was born…we were in our room resting. There was a tape playing in the stereo, one I had made of George Winston’s Winter. The only song I remember completely was Carol of the Bells being played on the piano. She was in her basinet under the warming lamps and I was dozing in and out.
I kept waking up and looking over at her…she was perfect. She was a good baby. Slept through the night fairly soon after birth. Her brother was two and he wasn’t quite sure of her those first few weeks. He would give me this look when I was holding her, “are you gonna hold me too?” It was just us three then….us three against the world so to speak.
Those were painful times in my life personally but she and my son brought me soooo much joy and comfort. They gave me purpose to not quit, to not give up. They were also the reason that I wanted to learn to live outside myself. To learn to forgive and love again. I wanted to be an example to them. Especailly my daughter.
Seeing her walk across the stage to get her diploma brought all those years back. The years that I didn’t quit and kept on going even when things got rough. She faced so many obstacles in her life as well. And she, like me, did not quit or give up. She kept herself focused and set her goals. She seems to have a drive and determination that I am not so sure I had at her age.
The one thing that is stuck in my head right now as I write this is that since the day I found out I was carrying her, all the things I had dreamed for my daughter had not necassarily turned out the way I had hoped. To be raised in a family with a mother and a father, to protect her from the cruelty of others and to give her safety and security. I could not completely give those things to her. But in spite of this, she is strong, courageous and determined.
She has her future planned to some extent and I think she is excited about it. Nervous, but excited. I admire her strength, her fairness and her vision. I envy her potential. I love her for the gift that she is to me. The gift from a loving, gracious God!!!! I will be forever grateful to Him who chose me to be her mother!
Congratulations to my daughter!!!!