Well I am all moved in.  I moved this past week.  We went from a 3 bedroom to a 2 bedroom.  There were several reasons for this move one of which was necessity.  I made the decision about a month ago to do so.  We stayed in the same apartment complex which made it a bit easier but I have to tell you the weeks leading up to this change were sooo emotional.  I was perplexed by the feelings that overcame my mind and heart.  I mean after all the changes our family have been challenged by this was by no means anything earth shattering.  So why was this a hurdle? Why was this so difficult for me to face?
Change! It comes hard to me these days.  Familiarity sometimes has given me comfort over these last few years.  When I was young all I wanted to do was travel, see new things and meet many new people.  I wanted to be inside different cultures. To experience the sights and sounds of the enviornment I found myself in.  I relished the unknown, embraced the change taking place every few years.  I guess that is why I fit into the military way of life.  I looked on everything with a wonder. It was always an adventure.  I dreamed and some of those dreams came true.  I planned and executed the details of the plan with great expectation.  Most of the plans worked out but some did not.  I learned from those that did not to be flexible in my life.
The older I got the less I enjoyed change.  Most of the changes have been very painful.  The lost dreams, the broken plans, twists and turns that have been very unexpected.  I sometimes look into the mirror and see my younger self lost somewhere in the reflection.  What happen to the girl who was an outgoing, adventurous, optimistic soul?  She comes out now and then you know.  When she sees the colors in the sky at sunrise or hears her children laughing at something hilarious.  But now change seems to be linked to loss.  Loss of something loved, gained or aquired.
So when I made the decision to move, I believed it to be the right thing.  Doubt crept in over the days and weeks.  Some of it was from the change taking place in our church.  Saying goodbye to friends who have been a great encouragement to me through some hard times.  Some of it was from fear of failure or making a mistake.  Some of it was just plain worry….will it fit, will I have to get rid of more things, are people going to show up to help….can we get it all up the stairs in the new apartment?  Now the confession….I held my breath!  Yes, I prayed but I did not pray expecting anything.  I held my breath!  That is hard to admit, because in confessing that it shows my lack of faith.  Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew God was working it out but I allowed the doubt and fear to overwhelm me.  I allowed the enemy a foot hold.
When one speaks of lack of faith it is simply unbelief.  I can’t justify it nor can I ignore it.  It is what it is.  My faith for the most part is a part of my very being and there is nothing that can separate me from a God who saved me from Hell but also saved me from myself.  While there are times I think myself unworthy of His love and blessing, there are also times when I feel so special because He does things that only He would know what touches my heart.  I think it is an injustice to think that we humans should always have faith every minute of every day because it is in the times that we lack faith that God shows us who He is and how much He truly cares and loves us. He knows when my faith wavers, He knows when I am scared and He surely knows when I need His reassurance.  And with loving hands and heart He gives it!
I have been unpacking all week.  Putting things away, looking at things that I have collected.  Remembering why I kept them.  Hanging pictures of my family.  I have put up so far, the ones of my children and grandchild.  And you know what?  There has been no plan.  No regret.  No crying.  No anxiousness.  No pain.  Actually it has been peaceful.  The move went very well.  We had 6 people, we made 4 trips and did it in 4 hours.  It all went according to His plan.

I am sitting here on Good Friday contemplating what this day represents.  The crucifixtion of our Lord.  Can you imagine what the loved ones of Jesus were going through on that day?  Can you see them wringing their hands and tears of anguish?  Prayers cried out in desperation?  I think there were many doubts by those who followed Him.  I think there was fear among them.  I think there was unbelief.  They were human after all.  Only He was God and knew the plan.  The others did not.  It would be in the moment that they entered the empty tomb that there hopes would be realized.  It would not be until they saw the risen Savior would they understand that without His death He would not conquer death.  And in that death He would indeed be the Savior of the world.  A living Savior!!!!

How can you know light without dark?  How can you know joy without sorrow?  How can you know faith without doubt?
You can not have one without the other!
May you all have a blessed Easter celebration!
Grace to you,


For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life,
nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things
present, nor things to come,  nor height, nor depth,
nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us
from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38-39


  1. Congrats on getting through the move:  I\’m the same way, I hate change.  And I have to admit that Easter snuck up on me this year, I didnt even know it was this Sunday until a couple of days ago.

  2. Forget not that He experienced everything that He might know how to comfort us.  He was NEVER forsaken.  By the way, I seriously doubt those were all your boxes.  LOL!

  3. This is soooo AWESOME to me because we are looking to move too real soon.We\’re awaiting God\’s timing. Just as we did with the van. We\’re in a 3 bedroom now but in need of a 4 but if God wants to give us a 5 bedroom, that\’ll be even better;-)!
    Many blessings to you in your new home and I pray for you much peace, love and happiness. I know it will be as God remain the head of your household!
    Ask your son if he will pay for us(seriously) no lol.
    Much love & many hugs to you!
    Catonya "The Truth"

  4. Congrats on the move. Back home, one of my hubby\’s boss\’s told him that amoung death and devorce, moving is one of those things that harps at our emotions. Thank you so much for your lovely mesage. Especially since it is a project I did to acupy me while I am missing home!. God bless, hugs Jaleen.
    I love the picture and scripture.

  5. I need you on my missionary team!  As a child of God, you could not have possibly expressed more just how fragile and easily broken we are without Him.  It\’s the moments of fleeting faith that we find our second wind and chase it down with renewed hope and a stronger heart.  You deserve a hug so I\’m sending a good one…you deserve to cry to cleanse and purge the tugs at your heart.  Shell, just keep spreading your wings and continue to fly.  There is a special place reserved just for you.

  6. Yay, I could open your space and I hope I can leave a comment too… Firstable, I like your new space music. Very clear English and a fresh voice… And good luck for your new house. It is tiring work and I don\’t like movings.
    Thanks for stopping by Shell. Hope your weekend is going well. Happy Easter, hugs, Zeynep xx

  7. Hope you got over the move now and had a great easter, tried to sign your guestbook, but it wouldnt work for me, will try again at some point love and hugs amanda xx

  8. hi shell, hope you had a lovely and blessed easter, and that you and your famiy are feeling settled in your new home – it is hectic here at the moment, have karen and kids here and will have ryan until wed, karen returns home with abigail this afternoon, so may not be around on line as often as usual – see you soon, take care, hugs nita.

    Dear Shell,
    I just want you to know I am praying for Esteban right now and am holding you all close in my heart as he goes through his surgery.
    Love, Liz


    Good evening C…
    Thanks for sending all your wonderful warm weather up here.
    I like it…I like it a lot!
    I have to admit I am not real fond of change either. But I’ve come a long way in going with the flow. Following God’s Spirit has a way of doing that.
    Girl…You hit the nail right square on the head when you wrote, “When we lack faith that God shows us who He is and how much He truly cares and loves us. He knows when my faith wavers, He knows when I am scared and He surely knows when I need His reassurance. And with loving hands and heart He gives it!”
    You may already know that I spent some time with the Word of faith crowd. Faith is important. But I got the revelation that if we were truly taken positively for every one of our words and emotions we would all be wiped off the face of this earth.
    We should never under estimate the power in the blood that Jesus shed on the cross or our God’s love, mercy, and grace.
    May all be well with you and yours and hopefully you are all settled in…Greg

  11. Miss hearing from you Shell, but I know you have your priorities.  Speaking of worry in this latest post reminded me of Satan\’s gripping at us when he perceives the slightest opening.  I have to constantly speak to him out loud when I feel his presence.  He invades my bible study, my tendency for self pity, and most any aspect of my life that I left in the hands of God.  He is relentless, but he is forever doomed.  I pray that you have started to settle in and some of the uncertainties have subsided.  Hoping you don\’t mind, I\’ll leave you with a powerful verse from Joshua 1:9  "Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid…for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest."
    Your forever friend,

    I stopped in to see you and ended up just sitting here listening to the glorious music playing.
    I hope you are having a very blessed Sunday!  Liz

  13. Hi Shell,
    Great Post today. Just dropping by to say hi. It has been ages since my last visit. Just wanted you to know in spite of my lack of being here, you are never forgotten but always remembered. It has been great going down memory lane looking at all your awesome photographs. Your "boys" and your "1st grandbaby" are so very precious. 
    I wish you God\’s Best in your new home. Change is never easy, for sure my thoughts and prayers will be with you my friend. I have missed hearing from you, please come by and visit sometime soon, would love to hear from you.
    As for me, we are all well at this end. However, my broken toe is still mending, PTL my foot is fine now, the swelling is down! I am looking forward to the day when I can wear a pair of shoes especially after 6 weeks of wearing slippers. Nevertheless I\’ve been told it may take another 2 weeks before shoes will fit. Happy days! LOL!
    Love, Hugs and God\’s Blessings, Your Friend, Judith

  14. Thanks for the birthday wish Shell.  I miss you.  Let us know you\’re OK.  Can\’t lose my friend Shell..!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s