It has been said over and over the holidays are perhaps the loneliest time of the year for some. There are many external reasons I think contribute to this but I will just name a couple that I find somewhat amusing.
Hallmark Cards and Movies, I think would be one of the biggest culprits. I mean the commercials about the sentimental cards just make you burst out in tears. And the movies! OMG…one after another, stories that keep you on a sentimental roller coaster. Lonely soul finds love, loses love because of some misunderstanding, misunderstanding cleared up…then forgiveness and love is renewed…then all involved live happily ever after. Ok, who is addicted to that?
Another contributor would be those online dating commercials that run at least 4 to 5 times an hour during one of those sappy movies about love and romance. "Find your soul mate in 6 months or we will refund your money" & "We met online and we have been together ever since, get your free 1 week trial membership today" How many of millions of people are jumping on board with excitement that their true love is just a click away, only to find out that there are more clicks than they bargained for.
The last ones I will mention has to be friends and family. Endless comments made with the best intentions….
- "Have you met someone yet?"
- "Don’t worry you’ll find someone."
- "You need to get back out there!"
Oh and don’t forget the bitter or cynical statements thrown out to discourage the lonely soul.
- "Why do you want a man/woman they are just after one thing."
- "What do you need a man/woman for, they aren’t worth the trouble."
- "Get a dog/cat!"
Why do I bring this up at a time like this? I got to thinking about those that are alone during this time of year. Those that for whatever reason didn’t have Christmas parties to go to, family gatherings to attend or a significant other to snuggle up to. I, myself, have struggled sooooo very much in this particular area over this past year. There have been weeks at a time where I would literally obsess over the fact that I am single again!
No, I haven’t met someone or gotten a dog or a cat…I haven’t even "got back" out there, my life is filled with job, commuting, home and kids. Boring, I know but it is what it is.
I have blogged about some of the emotions that are a by product of my current state of life and through that have had to face the absolute truth of scripture.
"Not that I spake in respect of want: for I have learned,
in whatsover state I am, therewith to be content."
"Let your conversation be without covetousness, and be content with such things as ye have:
for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."
So I had asked God for a Christmas miracle in my heart while traveling to see my family in Missouri. I kind of hoped that it would be a dramatic thing that would be unmistakable…but as with the Lord it was subtle. It wasn’t until I was on my way back to Houston I noticed a sense of contentment about going back to "my home." Being where I belong. In the restlessness of my heart and the discontent in my soul, I had been going back and forth about moving back to Missouri. In that I prayed about it and God had answered the prayer several weeks ago that pretty much confirmed that I should stay put for now. But with that confirmation came alot of questions. How will I…? What do I do with…? Where should I…? What if…?
On and on they came into my mind with quite unsettling emotions. Most of the questions were based on fear of the unknown and of course after I was able to get away from my daily routine, I was able to clear the noise around me. Going home, seeing family, visiting with childhood friends and spending a few moments at my sister’s grave put some things in perspective for me.
Our life is soooo short, but a vapor. We have little time, really, to make a difference. We waste so much time on the what if’s…and get caught up in the doing we forget what God’s purpose for our lives is. I was worried about "the tomorrow" and was in danger of forgetting the moments of the season. A new friend reminded me of the purpose God has for my life. To show forth God’s love to others so they can know Him.
Fortunately, I didn’t miss the reason for the season, because the more I contemplated His love for me the more I realized how many out there do not know it because they do not see it. The sadness and loneliness in the world around us, the hurt and wounded souls, the unsaved loved ones, the friends we care for who do not even believe God exist, how do we reach them?
His Word says they will know Him by our love…how well do we love?
The new friend in my life gave me the gift of sight. When I met him in July our conversations were at first about a few things we had in common. I then found out that he had turned his back on God for several years. Over the next several months our conversations turned more and more to God. Unconditional love, repentance, forgiveness and most importantly surrender. I have seen God move into his life and renew him. Give him hope and strength back. Showed him God’s purpose for his life. He has made changes and turned his eyes back to the one who never left him. He sent me a wonderful Christmas card that said "To my special friend…to that precious girl that landed in my life with words of encouragement…"
I can not begin to tell you what those words meant to me. How much they lifted me. The moment I read them they took away every lonely, sad feeling I had had that week. God used those words to encourage me…but they also opened my eyes but I didn’t see it fully until I asked God for the Christmas miracle. And driving back to Houston it dawned on me that He had filled me with the contentment by giving sight to my heart… a vision to my purpose and an overwhelming sense of His love for me….You can’t buy that!
Instead of questions there is trust!
I hope my friend does not mind that I shared that with you…I think he will smile knowing that God used him in return to encourage the encourager. I guess what I am trying to say to all of those lonely souls who find there way here that there is something that can take away the loneliness like no other thing in the world. It can fill the emptiest soul. It can bring peace to the restless heart.
It is a love so full that there is only one can fill it. He can give contentment, peace and a fullness. He is Jesus Christ. The words in the song below are His words to you….
by Third Day
I’ve heard it said that a man would climb a mountain
Just to be with the one he loves
How many times has he broken that promise
It has never been done.
I’ve never climbed the highest mountain
But I walked the hill of calvary
Just to be with you, I’d do anything
There’s no price I would not pay
Just to be with you, I’d give anything
I would give my life away.
I’ve heard it said that a man would swim the ocean
Just to be with the one he loves
How may times has he broken that promise
It can never be done
I’ve never swam the deepest ocean
But I walked upon the raging sea
I know that you don’t understand
the fullness of My love
How I died upon the cross for your sins
And I know that you don’t realize
how much that I gave you
But I promise, I would do it all again.
Just to be with you, I’ve done everything
There’s no price I did not pay
Just to be with you, I gave everything
Yes, I gave my life away.
(to hear this song with video click on Youtube above under Witness For Christ)
Grace to you and have a Happy Blessed New Year!