Face to Face!

It is Friday and tomorrow I will be on a plane going to North Carolina to see my grandbaby.  I will finally get to hold him, sing to him and tell him all about his daddy when he was a little baby.  Even now as I type this my eyes are tearing up, because I know the love that will well up in my heart and soul when I lay eyes on him.  If this is even a fraction of the love that God has for each one of us, I am undone with that very thought!  I have longed to see Brodie face to face but long for my Jesus’ face even more.  This week has been especially challenging to me in fears coming to the surface again.  I don’t remember being so fearful about things before.  Maybe I was and gave the emotion excuses. 
2 Timothy 1:12
For the which cause I also suffer these things: nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day.

I wouldn’t exactly say I was suffering from these fears for I know they start with a thought and I can combat them with God’s Word.  I can defeat the enemy by standing fast to my faith and keeping my face like flint toward the one who is my strength and high tower!

Isaiah 50:7
For the Lord GOD will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded: therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed.

No matter what the fears that rise and fall within the flesh that I dwell, He is forever and always the one that will keep me until we are indeed face to face.  Just like the song says…"I can only imagine"!

Pray for my safe travel and for my kids left with a freind….or should I say pray for my friend.  (I have not left my kids for this long of a period ever) Being a single mom, my anxiety wants to kick in but I am refusing it, in Jesus name! 

Will have lots of pictures and hopefully a story or two! 

Grace to you all!





You Won’t Believe This!

The events of this story are absolutely, positively true. No exageration, pinky promise!  Names were intentionally left out to protect the innocent, hard-working women of our company. 


Proverbs 17:22
A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.



A Fishy Story….

Is this all there is?


Ok you won’t believe what happened in my office yesterday?  There are moments in your life when you wonder is this all there is to life?  Coming and going, gaining and losing, giving and taking, loving and hating…you go through days that seem to be so mundane you wonder how long you can go on like that.  And then some event occurs, that breaks up the run of endless monotony…something good or something bad but it distracts you from the daily grind.  For a time you are suspended in an event that alone would be a blip on the timeline of your life. But add it with other blips it becomes a memorable moment.  I would like to share a tale of such a moment.

"You killed my fish"

"What,? No I didn’t, what is wrong with it?"

"It’s dead!"

"OMG, Let me see."

"What, the fish is dead?"

I walked into her office and there on the floor lies a little tiny 2 ½" silver Beta.  I couldn’t believe it.  How on earth could the fish end up on the floor?  I felt so bad.  All I did was change the water and clean the vase.  I only did a partial change because it had only been a week since the fish was put into the vase.  I then set the vase on the desk 4" from the edge of the desk.  I ran to the kitchen to get a large spoon to scoop the little guy up.  It was dead or at least that is what we thought.  I bent over and put the spoon next to the fish and when I touched it, it flopped.  I about jumped out of my pants

"AAAAHHHH" "Yikes" "OOHHH!"  (in unison)

There we were, three grown women, realizing at the same time the fish was still alive…

"Get it up, it is still alive."

"Here is the spoon, you get it, my heart is beating too fast."

"Give me the spoon"

"Be careful"

"OH, get it, there it goes"

She reached down and after several more attempts and flip/flops from the fish; she finally got it on the spoon.  Dropping it into the vase with a plop, it floated for a minute then it swam to the top of the vase.  It gulped and you could see its little body trying to recover.  Then it sunk to the bottom and we thought it died again.  But after a few minutes it went back to the top.  We started to figure out what happened.  We found the spot where the fish landed on the desk but it still did not explain how it got to the floor.  What we could construe was that it had jumped out of the vase, fell onto the desk, flip/flopped to the floor and flipping several more times ended up about 1 ½’ from the desk.  After looking at the vase for some time, one of us realized that I had filled the vase to within a ½" of the top of the vase.  Who knew the fish would jump out?  What on earth was it thinking?  The water is clearer on the other side of the glass?  After an hour of it going up and down in the vase, we decided we needed to take it out and put it in a smaller container and completely clean the vase and all the items inside. 

"It has finally given up, it is dead"

"No, not yet, he seemed to be fighting"

"No, he is dead.  We have to flush him. I can’t do it by myself. We all have to go"

So the three of us, standing in the ladies bathroom, with little ceremony I dumped him into the toilet and turned my head away.  I couldn’t look.  We waited because the toilets  were the automatic flush kind and when it didn’t flush, I looked back.

"Why isn’t it flushing?  I can’t do it, I can’t look"

"I’ll do it."

Flush! Silence. We all look at each other.  What did we just do?  Three grown women standing in a ladies bathroom on the sixth floor saying goodbye to fish. 

"Check to see if it is gone"

"It might scare someone."

Finding Nemo came to mind, but I kept that thought to myself, didn’t want to seem insensitive.

"It’s gone, sorry for your loss"

The office seemed quiet as we filed in through the door.  What would do now?  How would we get through this?  We did everything we could, it was just his time to go.  The day was filled with drama and we were spent.  We needed to get back to work, to get our minds off "Silver".

"Sorry, for killing your fish"

"The story is Silver committed suicide and we’re sticking to it!"

"I will get you another one"

"Not sure I want another one, just too much drama."

I got her another one and it is really pretty.  Right after I finished putting it into her vase, she came in carrying another Beta…so now we have 4 beautiful fishes in the office.  Enough to keep us amused in almost every room we walk into.  So now you are probably wondering what the point is.  Our lives have been intertwined by our jobs.  We do the daily tasks without too much difficulty.  Each efficient in her own way, having lives of varying differences but sharing the common goals of giving, providing, loving and caring for our families.  Our timelines have crossed.  And the intersection for this day was a dead fish.  Other days it is news from a doctor, something our kids are doing, what happened last night on a TV show or what’s for lunch.  This isn’t all there is to life, there is more!

Rushing Waves of Love!

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
1 Peter 4:8

Sometimes my thoughts and memories are like waves…they keep on a coming!  And can’t stop them!  Sometimes I let them run away but have to reel them back in when they get too far.  Especially when I start becoming grieved, fearful or panicked.  I am mainly talking about being a mother.  I recently ran across a story about a man taking his mother out to dinner after years of not spending much time with her. She died a few weeks later of a massive heart attack.  He was so thankful that he had taken time to spend with his mom.  I had read the story many years ago but that was when my children were young and they had not gone out on their own yet.  It was a nice story and I passed it on to a few friends I knew who were mothers.  It was during a time when I still had my grandparents and sister.  I read the story again today and several things about the story were very poignant.  "Don’t wait to tell those you love "I love you" and appreciate every moment you have with them…I won’t put the whole story here but I do want to share the part that followed….

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back
to normal after you’ve had a baby…. Somebody
doesn’t know that once you’re a mother, "normal" is

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by
instinct… Somebody never took a three-year-old

Somebody said being a mother is boring ….
Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager
with a driver’s permit.

Somebody said if you’re a
"good" mother, your child will "turn out
good"….somebody thinks a child comes with
directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their
voices … Somebody never came out the back door
 just in time to see her child hit a golf ball
through the neighbor’s kitchen window.

Somebody said you don’t need an education to be a
mother…. Somebody never helped a fourth grader
with his math.

Somebody said you can’t love the second child as
much as you love the first …. Somebody doesn’t
have two children.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to
her child-rearing questions in the books….
Somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose
or in his ears.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother
Is labor and delivery….somebody never watched her
 "baby" get on the bus for the first day of
Kindergarten …. or on a plane headed for military
"boot camp."

Somebody said a mother can do her job with her
eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back
 ..somebody never organized seven giggling Brownies
to sell cookies.

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her
Child gets married….somebody doesn’t know that
Marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a
mother’s heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother’s job is done when her last
Child leaves home…somebody never had

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so
You don’t need to tell her…. somebody isn’t a


"Thank you God for making me a mother….I cherish every moment, good and bad!"  

I’m Losing!

By the title you probably think it is "poor me" blog.  But guess what I am a loser!  And losing more every day.  I can’t believe how wonderful this feels. It is amazing that I can even say that.  After all this time, I can finally admit it!  I can stand up and proudly say that losing isn’t half bad. I mean talk about being an optimist, here it comes…you know how Jesus says in order to gain your life, you have to lose it…weeeeellll most people don’t get that…give it to Him and He gives it back in better and cleaner condition than when you gave it to him.  It is a paradox of the greatest kind.  There is a silly book out called "The Secret", below is a description of the book…what a dangerous thing to teach people that the reason you are something is because you think it…

Feb. 25, 2007 – Let’s look at using the Creative Process for those who feel they are overweight and who want to lose weight. The first thing to know is that if you focus on losing weight, you will attract back having to lose more weight, so get “having to lose weight” out of your mind. It’s the very reason why diets don’t work. Because you are focused on losing weight, you must attract back continually having to lose weight.

The second thing to know is that the condition of being overweight was created through your thought to it. To put it in the most basic terms, if someone is overweight, it came from thinking “fat thoughts,” whether that person was aware of it or not. A person cannot think “thin thoughts” and be fat. It completely defies the law of attraction.

Whether people have been told they have a slow thyroid, a slow metabolism, or their body size is hereditary, these are all disguises for thinking “fat thoughts.” If you accept any of those conditions as applicable to you, and you believe it, it must become your experience, and you will continue to attract being overweight.

Of course Jesus taught that all sin starts in the mind.  We first see it, or lust after it (think about it) then we take action (go about getting it or doing it).  And there are consequenses to reap.  But to say you think fat thoughts and you become fat is absurd.  Here is another humanistic, selfish thing the world is trying to teach us…the law of attraction.  That is not scriptural but people are living their life by such law.  I guess one would think it is an innocent way of improving our lives without having to depend on God or anyone else for that matter.  The danger is in believing that we have the power to change, alone from Christ, or the power to attract good things in our lives. All good things come from Him. 

Yes, we have the power to choose and take action but it is Christ power working in and through us that actually transforms.  It is frustrating to me that the world has yet one more reason to turn to themselves and not to a Holy God! 

Romans 12:2
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Why then would I call myself a loser…because through God’s strength (and only His) I have officially lost 18lbs…I have been changing my eating habits and thanking Him daily for His strength to overcome by using His Word.  The only thought of myself was God let me glorify you in this body.  Help me please you in my thoughts, in my actions and words, especially my eating! 

I know He is pleased that I am losing and in that I become a victor!  And I give Him all the glory! Not my mind!
Grace to you…

Standing Still!

The birth of my grandchild put me on cloud nine.  Every picture I get, I am reminded of each one of the births of my own children.  The joy of meeting them for the very first time…it has also reminded me of how fast time goes.  And how each moment stands still in our minds.  The firsts that each one of us experience.  The the first child, first word, the first step, the first food, the first birthday,  the first loss, the first grandchild, oh my goodness, I could go on and on.  Tomorrow, Brodie will be 2 weeks old and already I have missed so much of his life being 1,144 miles away.  I am hoping that I can go out to visit in a couple of weeks, God willing.  Then I will get to hold him for the "first time".  That will be indescribable! Can’t wait for that very blessing.
I want that moment to stand still in my mind. I want God to put that picture in my heart as he did for Mary when she "pondered" the moments of her child, Jesus. Lately, it has been bitter/sweet for me. The moments standing still in my mind.  All the memories of the past…my children, my sister, my granparents and my life.  It has been overwhelming and am not sure what to do with all of them.  I have been giving them to God and asking for His perspective because mine is clouded by loss and failure, when I should be rejoicing over the precious blessings He has given to my family.  It must be the end-of-winters blues at least that is what I am telling myself.  So as the verse says in His Word…."Stand still and know that I am God."
I love another verse God gave to me today
"Lord, all my desire is before You; and my sighing is not hidden from you" Psalm 38:9
Isn’t that a wonderful prayer!
grace to you, shell